Russ the Fuss 1043
Bash the Bishop 1046

Age Concern 1048
Wonderland 1 1049

Winter Warmer 1051
Marty Pants 1058

Tory's Too 1063
Ah Sole 1068

Aidan Abetting 1073
Wonderland 2 1077

Doncaster Races 1079
Cherie on Top 1082

Educashun Newz 1092
Car Wars 1093

Awards 2003 1096
Eye Earner 1099

Cole not Dole 1102
Corden Blue 1106

Dole not Cole 1102
School's Out 1111

Rule of Law 1116
Awards 2004 1123

Grovelling 1134
Fiddlers Free 1127

Regeneration Game 1147

Donny Déjà Vu 1151
School's Out 2 1152

Rave On 1153

Beyond The Law 1169
Tal Story 1170

Wragge Head 1172
Riches To Wragges 1174

Awards 2006 1175
Winter's Tale 1176



The Times Higher Education Supplement ran a long piece in September, talking up the prospects of Doncaster College (Eyes passim ad nauseam) metamorphosing into the University of Doncaster by the year 2010.


Education was key to the town's regeneration, said Doncaster mayor Martin Winter, who made such a big impression on THES hackette Claire Sanders that she referred to him throughout as "Martin Walker".


But because the project is in the hands of such masters of bollockspeak as Winter and Doncaster College principal George Holmes, it is not called anything as mundane as "Doncaster University". Rather, it is "Education City", a concept so surrounded by buzzwords as to be almost invisible.


Homes, who says his mission is to lift the people of Doncaster out of poverty and ignorance, has made a good start. On himself. He gets by on a modest £166,000pa, free Mercedes, and a free flat.


Alas, three is one big cloud on the horizon. Two years ago Doncaster College failed its Quality Assurance Agency (QAA) inspection. If it fails another one, due this week, it could lose the right to provide higher education altogether.


Naturally every effort has been made to ensure that the college presents itself in the best possible light when the inspectors arrive. So staff who turned up for a pre-inspection meeting last week were not impressed to discover that the college's head of HE, Peter Hymans, and his deputy Graham Stevens had sent apologies. They were away on crucial business abroad... a booze cruise to Calais.


Private Eye No.1092 31st October 2003

Car Wars


In the bad old days Doncaster’s politicians took gifts and entertainment on the quiet from businessmen looking for favours. Under “new” Labour, they now do it openly.

Donny mayor, Martin Winter has taken delivery of a new £25,800 Luxury Mercedes C220 CDI Elegance saloon in a sponsorship deal between the council and a local car dealership, Dixon Motors. In return for its generosity, which saves the council the £4,500-a-year it used to spend on a leased Toyota, Dixon has been promised a range of benefits including having the company name emblazoned all over the mayor’s car, plus favourable articles in council newsletters.


Private Eye No.1093 27th November 2003 (Artwork by Private Eye)